Role Playing, Nerds, and Summoner Geeks

Note: This post will probably only make sense if you've played D&D before - but you may find it amusing either way.

This page makes a funny point about the examples of play that are given in RPG (like Dungeons and Dragons) rule books:

"Here is an example of play that doesn't get into the rules (we'll leave that for a later chapter) but rather demonstrates roleplaying. The DM is Chris, John is playing Urthden, a Human Fighter, Giles is a Dwarven barbarian, Gwen is an Elven Ranger, and Billy is playing a Human Wizard! They've just come to the entrance of Malik Hur, a terrible tomb of a lich that buried eons ago!

Chris: The crypt awaits before, a large stone slab of a door taunting you with its immobility.
Billy: Blast! How shalt we get through this door? King Darod and his Kingdom are depending upon us to retrieve the cure!
Gwen: Don't worry, I have an idea! Remember earlier when we were interrogating that skeleton? He mentioned that the water moves when the stone strikes it...
John: And that stones move when water touches them! Brilliant! Alright, I'll go and grab some water from that creek that Chris mentioned earlier-"

And on and on in perfect harmony.

They go on write examples of how RPG's are played in real life like:

DM: You're at the crypt. There's a door.
John: I open the door.
DM: Can't there's no handles or anything.
Billy: I fucking break it down then, I thought it was implied if the door doesn't open the first time we BREAK IT DOWN.
Giles: Hey, hey can I lockpick the door?
DM: We-
John: No, you're a goddamn barbarian *Snort*, that, that's like me rolling to cast magic missile.
DM: Hey! HEY! Pay attention. Anyway, the doors made of stone.
Billy: I can break stone.
DM: What.
Billy: I can fucking do it, I have a magic +1 hammer, it doesn't break.
DM: So you're going to spend all day hitting a chunk of stone with your hammer.
John: Yeah, and by my measurements, if my calculations are correct, and assuming this door is like, two feet thick, it'll take thirty two hours to bust down, we can do this.
Giles: Hey, hey, hey, I have an axe, I can, I can help!
Billy: No, no you friggin' can't, it's a plain axe and you made a shitty barbarian so, like, you'd make it worse.
DM: Look, maybe GWEN might remember that interrogation- Wait, where's Gwen?
Billy: She showed up one game and hasn't come back. You've been playing her character, dingus.

It reminded me of the classic "Summoner Geeks" video below:

Add new comment